So for months now I’ve been watching this show when I go the gym here in Moscow. It runs on Muz-TV, the Russian MTV-analog, and it’s called “Battle for Respect: Start Today!”

This dancing granny from Minsk might be Michael Jackson's most sincere fan... or just loaded.

Sergey Lukyanenko, author of the Night Watch novel tetralogy, is writing a libretto based on the saga. Night Watch the Opera will premiere in Vienna and it's going to be "spectacular." Into the Gloo-oo-OO-oom...

Britney Spears is probably the most important reason why Russian old ladies must attend an English language school. Now they can perform "Hit Me Baby One More Time" for the school's commercial.

Gorbachev—one of Russia's most simultaneously reverenced and reviled political figures—recently showed his tender side by recording an album of romantic ballads. Sold exclusively at a charitable auction, it's unavailable to the general public, but thanks to us and the internet, you are now welcome to sneak-peek of some musical glasnost.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jimmy. Perhaps the most charming of all Russian YouTube sensations, the Tajik loading worker in a small town near Moscow performs a heartbreaking version of the Bollywood classic "Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy Aaja" in a warehouse.

We'll come right out and say it: alongside Zemfira and Splean, Mumiy Troll are one of the very, very few Russian rock acts we're not embarrassed to crank up with Brits or Yanks within earshot. And Mumiy (pronounced like roomy) Troll might be the worldliest of the three, what with lead singer Ilya Lagutenko's multilingual punning (he's fluent in Mandarin, among other things) and no-translation-needed feline yowl. 2009 brought the band's first attempt to conquer the U.S.

Meet Anastasia Prikhodko: registered shit-starter. Prikhodko has been chosen to represent Russia in the Eurovision Song Contest, to be held in Moscow this May. The thing is, Prikhodko is not Russian; she's Ukrainian. And her selection comes as an intense gas dispute has soured relations between her country and Russia. Like a true performer, Prikhodko didn't allow the controversy to faze her as she dominated the proceedings. She even wore heritage like a badge in the final round, choosing a song with a Ukrainian chorus. Will this be seen as a cultural olive branch or an act of treason? To the blogs, we say!

When Georgia made a thinly-veiled anti-Putin disco act its official Eurovision candidate last month, we knew there was a cat fight coming. We weren't disappointed. Celebrities and ordinary Russians alike are expressing their outrage over the song "We Don't Wanna Put In," and there's surely more scratching to come.

Did we call it, or did we call it? Last week, we told you that the Federal Migration Service had plans to make all visiting Western pop stars acquire work visas to do gigs in Russia. In the same breath, we chided Deep Purple drummer Ian Paice for claiming the new law wasn't such a big deal. To which we said, speak for yourself, Deep Purple. Not every over-the-hill classic rock act is lucky enough to be buddy-buddy with the Russian president. Well, guess who’s playing two shows in Moscow this April? That’s right. Get your lighter ready, Mr. Medvedev.

First, Georgia threatened to boycott this year’s Eurovision Song Contest because it’s to be held in Moscow. Then Georgia recanted on the boycott and applied late. Now Georgia has gone ahead and selected its entry to the competition: an English-language song titled, “We Don’t Wanna Put In.” Ahem. If you don’t get it yet, consider the ersatz-disco refrain: “We don’t wanna put in / The negative move / Is killing the groove.” It’s certainly no Vysotsky song, but a “subtle” political slight it is.

Russia’s music sales fell 21 percent in the first half of last year, so you can hardly blame the crisis for their continual slump. It may be a quality issue. But there’s also the little matter of piracy: most CDs sold in Russia are unauthorized copies. And Russians paying for downloading an MP3? Ha! So the country's artists rely on live performances to make bank. As they say, though, mo’ rubles, mo’ problems. Now more than ever, Russia’s artists are trying to break into Western music scenes. Perhaps no one more fervently than Valeriya, the 40-year-old Forbes-honored Russian singer whose PR people insist — just insist — on calling her “the Russian Madonna.”

We’ll come right out and say it: alongside Zemfira and Splean, Mumiy Troll are one of the very, very few Russian rock acts we’re not embarrassed to crank up with Brits or Yanks within earshot. And Mumiy (pronounced like roomy) Troll might be the worldliest of the three, what with lead singer Ilya Lagutenko’s multilingual punning (he’s fluent in Mandarin, among other things) and no-translation-needed feline yowl. 2009 brings the band’s first attempt to conquer the U.S. in earnest – and seemingly on their own terms.

Georgia the U.S. state has produced R.E.M., B-52s and Pylon; now its oft-beleaguered namesake in the Caucasus is beginning to catch up.

Despite help from his trusty AutoTune,Kanye West ended 2008 on a very sour note: in Kazakhstan, at an oligarch New Year’s bash, getting all but booed by the audience. As RUSSIA! has reported in the past, most A-list Western celebs are not above whoring themselves at private parties in post-Soviet pleasure dens when the price is right. Sure, a multi-platinum artist like West won’t be telling all his friends that he opened for a Russian dance band called Fast Food, but a gig is a gig. And with $1.5 million on the line for just one show, Kanye probably saves his best performances for these VIP events. Right?